This is pretty much how I’ve been seeing time as of late:
To a certain degree, it seems like there’s plenty of time, while in other cases, it feels like I’m running out of time. Altogether though, I recognize that time is a major commodity that we can’t get back once it’s been spent.
One aspect of my life that I’ve taken on in the past week is not to mourn over the time that was lost during my mental shutdown. Rather, I told myself that I needed to focus on the time ahead of me and what the Lord has planned for the days to come.
I know that when I was sick, I didn’t take each day as it came, instead I took each moment as it came, moment by moment. As I look at the crazy clock picture above, I recall the feeling of time just spiraling out of my hands and losing all hope as each day went by. However, now that things seem to be on the right track, Lord willing, perhaps I can get some things going forward and in order as each day comes.
One thing I know is that I’ve set my sights on May 2016 to graduate high school so that I can make it just in time for the citywide graduation ceremony in June. My recent mental alertness has caused me to want to start taking on 2 school subjects at once, which I’m just considering at the moment if I can. This is something that requires prayer before I do so, as it will take up more of my time in each and every day. It would likely be worth it in the long run, but I just want to ‘count the cost’ as it were, to see if I can fit a second subject into my time schedule.
Another thing that I expressed interest in last night during a get together was that the desire to go on a missions trip is returning to my mind and heart. The head of the chapel’s missionary committee suggested that while I’ve always had the Philippines in mind, he recommends to start with something more local first, just to test if I could do this, and I would agree. The chapel has a Summer mission they make up North every year, so maybe it’s time to do that in 2016. My mentor has warned me of the heartbreaking extreme poverty in the Philippines, knowing how emotionally involved that I can get, but he always thought that it was a good idea. For now, I’m just praying to see if this is really something I want to do, or if it’s God’s plan and intention (and timing) for me to do this. I’ve only been getting my meds balanced since last week, so I don’t want to jump on anything quickly.
When it comes to time, the Lord has allotted me a fair amount of it to do what He wills for me to do. I just have to be cautious of how I spend that time right now, as I want to do so for His glory, and not for me to waste with things that just don’t matter in this life. All in His time, I suppose.